I wonder...

... is there a correlation between the degree at which one experiences suffering and their strive to live the virtues and live life to the fullest?

If there is, perhaps it should be called the "Saint proportionality".

CRUCHTIME

So much to do between now and the end of the semester.

Lord help me, coz it's time to put the team on my back, doe.

Thanks be to God! -- I've been accepted!

I am beyond myself right now, seriously in a daze of happiness and thankfulness...

I have officially received all of my university admissions replies, and, still in awe, I'm pleased to announce that I've been accepted to all the schools I've applied to -- CSU East Bay, SF State Uni, and UC Davis.

This is a big deal for me honestly.  I've had such an uncertain path up to this point, full of painful times, doubts and worry, full of anxiety and fear, full of not really knowing what would come of my life.  There've been rock-bottom times. And there've been times when I've wanted to quit.  And the battle trying to start over and over again from the train wrecks, from the failures, with the accumulated weight of past efforts in my mind as psychological battle scars have made the journey indescribably difficult. And to me, what has happened, what is the surest thing I can say up to this point is that without God's help through it all, I would have never gotten this far; truly, it's been a difficult time, but with His help, He's been taking me to heights I can't even fathom, and even more so.

I want to take this time to say something to anybody who didn't get into their choice-university -- I have felt the same way before.  Four years ago before junior college, I had applied to UC Davis with the surest certainty a young, bold man could ever have had -- it was my dream school, and I thought I had all the qualifications.  But I got rejected.  This changed my life.  I remember everyone around me announcing all of their acceptances and wearing the sweater of the university they planned to attend, and I remember feeling so sad, not that I had a problem with people sharing their good news, but that the ember of the pain of not getting into my uni was rekindled.  And I want to say, don't give up. Even if I had not been accepted to my choice-university now, I still would have carried on to a university I had been accepted at -- it isn't so much as mulling over and trying to over-excessively control where you want to go to, so much as developing the openness and willingness to accept the way the dice fell and adapt, and to trust that everything happens for a reason, to trust God's will for you, that everything will be okay as long as you keep on trying and persevering the best you can.  I'd love to say that everything we want to happen will happen with enough hard work and perseverance, but that just isn't the world we live in, so we try our best and work with what we get.  And if I can apply a liberty here, what you get is exactly what you need for right now... use it wisely, thoroughly taste the experience, adapt, and everything will be okay. On another note, if you are a high school senior, just want to reiterate that junior college is not a bad idea, perhaps it isn't the ideal situation, but it can still turn out okay. Promise.

So now beings the process of working through my options, my financial aid, planning for moving... I'm in uncharted territory folks! :) I'm in my last community college semester, gearing up for uni either starting in August or September.  Cheers!

Sometimes I think my struggles give me a disadvantage in life...

... but then I realized my struggles, although relatively small in some respects, actually places me in some good company, perhaps even in the league of the greats.

"If there is no struggle there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground, they want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, and it may be both moral and physical, but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will."

- Frederick Douglass

Music, tea, and prayers gets me through...

A typical cycle in the life of Aaron goes like this:

1. Plans day
2. Feels overwhelmed by amount of stuff I have to do
3. Pray
4. Makes tea with honey
5.  Listens to music/play guitar
6. Gets to business

Should I worry?

All, is it scary that I finished a 2.5 lb jar of honey within a 3-weeks time?

After finishing the jar, I honestly felt like I knew how Pooh felt every time it happened to Pooh.

Lucy Rose is wonderful

And also, good music can seriously help to soothe and alleviate the pain, even to let it escape out.  Especially when you play the music yourself.

A good laugh can cut through and peel away all the layers of the pain.

Influx Outflux

Yes, "outflux" is not a word, but it sounds like it could be.

Lol. I wonder if I'll ever get used to how drastic things can change all of a sudden.  Maybe? Maybe not. Hahaaaa

Maybe

Maybe I don't have as think of a skin as I would like, or my backbone isn't as strong yet.  Maybe it actually might be too much for me.  Who knows? Not I, I guess.  But that is besides the point. But let me tell you, sometimes emotional distress is draining.  And if you feel that way sometimes too, I know how you feel.  And if you can admit it too, then I'm right there with you. 

Can't Wait

www.twitter.com/gabrielleaplin

Norcal Honey Company by Nature Nate's

Hmm. Best honey I've ever had.