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September 20, 2009

Figuring Me Out

I'll get a lil' intra-perspective for this blog.

Everyday I seem to surprise myself. Each day I live, only if I live it, adds on to the meaning that I've accumulated over the rest of the days in my life. This goes without saying, but I'm really figuring out a lot more about me.

What I like and what I don't like.

What pisses me off and what gets me thankful.

What I can stand and what I can't.

What I can do in moderation and can't.

How hard I work, How hard I can work, and How hard I can't.

What I want and what I don't want.

....
It's weird kinda, because at 18 y/o you think you'd already figured you out, know what you like, yada-yada. But I guess not...completely yet.

Call it a self-reflection, but a lot of that really gets me. Sometimes, I just like to sit down and go, "Okay, so where exactly am I at?".

"How am I doing, Am I still okay? Is my plan alright? "

Just to make sure I'm still on track with all I hope for. It's so easy to get side-tracked - that's for-damn-sure.

September 15, 2009

Amazed

Sometimes, I think I'm really lucky to have people to look up to.

There are a lot of people in my life that I give a lot of credit for, for all of my outlook and perspectives. It could be that of a celebrity making decisions, or someone as subtle as a guy letting me cut in line at the grocery stores.

Kanye West was out of line, Taylor didn't deserve his rudeness. Beyonce was as much of a class act as Taylor, also. Taylor took the comment, she didn't let it affect her and she still performed 5 minutes after the incident (phenomonally I may add). Do you know how hard that could be? I've performed plenty of times, and there were times when my performances were rattled because I let other people get to me just moments before. That's tough, and Taylor also didn't lash out. She gracefully let it die down, I don't think she has even Tweeted since after the VMAs. Her determination to her performance, strength of self-preservation, and grace in the face of struggle just speaks volumes to the age of this 19 year old country singer who was once living the lives we all live attending high school and such. And I love her for that.

Beyonce also paid the price. I loved her performance by the way, girrrl got it locked. Kanye should be ashamed even more because frankly, Beyonce didn't even get to say a Thank You for her award, he should also apologize to her IMHO. Goes to show, actions always affect people...

I made a mistake at work today, which I quickly got corrected for. I guess it just wasn't my day (NO FOOD MISTAKES, EVERYTHING SERVED IS CLEAN & TASTY). I chose to talk with my boss manager, and he gave me a meaningful critique. I got to say, much respect to the man:

"Everyone makes mistakes".

It's not like I didn't know that, I guess it's just nice having a reminder about it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm feeling a little mixed right now. It's always easier giving in to things, doing the wrong thing, and all - but it's that strive to just keep straight that is as beautiful and painful as a rose with thorns, - or the Kingdom of Heaven in that respect ;)

But when I see people who are living lives that are even more cross-laden than mines, who are living it through with a positive attitude, and doing their best to keep there head up and not moping around just...amazes me.

It gives me hope.