Chemical Analysis

I've been thinking a lot about how one could take the view that our human behaviors could be empirically explained by chemical analysis. For example, the amount of stress we feel has been shown by studies to be correlated to the amount of cortisol levels in the body (see here).

If one were to take the view that our behaviors and feelings were all simply (putting this lightly) the result of the chemical processes in our bodies, how incredibly dull and vapid our existences would be, that we are all just a result of reactions to stimuli, that, like the glory of sciences, we could actually model our experiences based on independent and dependent variables, correlated factors, and internal and external validities. The feeling of love, therefore, would just be based on a determination of finite factors leading to a wanted result -- it would be that easy... or easier, considering it is a complex result of multidimensional analysis, than actually finding a soulmate (which is arguably difficult, lol).

This isn't a mockery of scientific power. I'm a proponent for scientific innovation.  However, does this chemical analysis sound too... business-like? Perhaps.

"Cause if you're not really here
Then the stars don't even matter
Now I'm filled to the top with fear
That it's all just a bunch of matter"

- "Black and Gold" by Sam Sparro

Hope

"... Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless."

-- G.K. Chesterton

Grabbing life by its horns, and then some.

Here's a wonderful quick read I definitely recommend, especially coming from a Psych background, kind of an aside to the actual blog I'm going to write ;)

"Grabbing Life by the Horns"

So this past weekend was special in a lot of ways. Me and my family went to LA to pick up my brother who's currently studying at UCLA, he just ended his spring quarter, and just for references sake, I ended my spring semester almost a month ago -- on a different note, I'm honestly bracing myself for my transition to the quarter system because I heard it's not for the faint of heart lol.  

I honestly think the UCLA campus is charmingly beautiful because of the architectural design of Powell Library and Royce Hall.  There's something about old style Renaissance-Gothic-type-ish architecture that really just puts me in awe, that kind of tugs at my heart strings and resonates in my soul, sort of like looking at the stars on a dark night or being inside a cathedral. 

I also got to attend the commencement ceremony of a great friend of mine who graduated from UCLA this year.  Very happy for him and his achievements.  He's a very hard working guy, studies hard, and is able to sacrifice sleep at a caliber I'd never want to lol.  Congrats Matt! 

Having spent four years at community college, not exactly the plan from the start lol, I'll have to take two more years to finally graduate, and I look forward to that day so, so much.

While in LA, I also got to hang out with my uncle and his family in Santa Clarita.  Having just turned 22 this year, it's even more amazing to see how my little cousins have grown up since I've last saw them, they're getting older and older... and the little kids I once knew are thriving teens and I'm ... old-er. Lol.

Back home in Sac now, living an amazing summer. Plenty of time to relax and rest.  Also been daydreaming about the future... really spent some time today reflecting about my past too, and while reminiscing, I realized that for most of my post-18 year old life I've mostly been just barely (but thankfully) getting by, whether that'd be in school, or relationships, or in life in general. 

I really want to "Grab life by the horns" more. I really, really want to. I want to grab hold of all the opportunities I have because so many are open to me right now, in this moment.  One thing I always have noticed is how fast time flies by, e.g. one day it's the beginning of the semester, and then 16 weeks pass, I'm studying for finals, and I look back and go, "man, I remember the first day of sem like it was yesterday and I wish I could have done blah, blah, blah, more ...".  While I'm sure that experience probably will always happen, that I say I wish I could have done things a little different, I've learned and experienced it's totally possible to not feel any regret despite wishing I could have done a few things differently.  I have plenty of learned lessons, and I want to maximize them, and I'd hate to regret something I know I was totally capable of trying "back then". 

So here's to being "in this moment", having hopes and dreams and ambitions, great potential, in the most capable state. 

Natural Talent

Connie Talbot is a great singer and her voice is absolutely beautiful.  This cover is one of my favorites for this song. I'm not impressed of her singing just because she's only 12 years old, but you must admit, for her age her skill is simply beyond words -- one of the finest examples of natural, God-given talent I've ever witnessed.

Eyes

Have you ever looked into the eyes of a person who's fighting against all the odds? Eyes filled with pain and suffering and sadness, tired eyes... yet eyes with an unfaltering determination and perseverance.  You can begin to see, by the way those eyes reflect in the light, a glimpse of how much that person has gone through hell and back.  And the look of those eyes leave an impression.  And you will remember them for the rest of your life.

A Breeze

In the midst of all the salt water

comes a slight and powerful breeze

cooling the senses, cooling the pain

A simple reminder of the Holy Spirit

of the love that never left, and will never leave

of the safety I've been blessed with

And a simple smile curves my face

So much could have gone wrong, so much

Oh the power of a simple breeze

Twenty Two

22...

This year, less worry, more thankfulness, less stress, more faith.  Less having a vice-like grip on life, more of doing my best and letting go.

All thanks to God above. :)

Can you accept love?

Well, I think it depends on what kind of "love" you expect.  It is certainly correlated to how you view yourself.  If you view of yourself as a diamond, then you perhaps expect love with respect to your view of yourself as a diamond.  If you view yourself as a pebble, then you perhaps expect love with respect to your view of yourself as a pebble.  If the former is you, then you understand and respect your God-given worth, rightfully so.  If the latter is you, then you understand your human imperfections, rightfully so.

The key, I think, is to realize we're both a diamond and a pebble.

But I'll tell you this, I know the latter very much so true to me and how I expect love from others is based mostly, although not solely, on this half of the amalgamation. How I view myself is mostly, although not solely, on the former half of the amalgamation. And so, when I receive love from others, I feel so undeserving and extremely thankful.  And when I view myself, I know I'm worth more than a self-deprecating evaluation.

 In harmony, love, from others and the way I love myself, nourishes my entirety to the point of sublime joy.