I want to travel and get away. Desperate how I honestly think that'll be the cure. To just up and leave. It's more laughable actually, I mean, I'll be honest and say I haven't the resources and finances to even try. Nor the experience. But it's a reoccuring thought that fills my head. And I know it's foolish at best... What I'm running from will be whereever I go anyways.
"Now to escape involves not just running away, but arriving somewhere.” - Bernhard Schlink, The Reader
I do want to travel though... Someday.
May 22, 2012
May 18, 2012
Where Words Fail
Came across this and it's uncanny how it's so neatly worded.
“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a tellar but for want of an understanding ear.”
— Stephen King (Different Seasons)
That still won't stop me from trying, though. That understanding ear is out there, somewhere. God willing, I'll find you.
May 10, 2012
The Bigger Picture
Oh Finals week...
It's not so much that it's Finals week that's getting to me. I mean, yeah... Final's pretty much determine your grade for the whole semester, and it's all cumulative... that is pretty hard. But Finals week is especially hard because of all the things happening in addition to finals week.
“It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out; it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.”
-- Robert W. Service
I definitely have a lot of sand in my shoe.
For me, what has been helping me out, and this is an understatement, is looking at the bigger picture - and I really mean the BIG picture:
God loves me, and won't let me go through anything I cannot handle. He's there with me through it all. One day, I will die. Hopefully, when I die I'll get to go to Heaven to be with Jesus forever, where there is no worries, no sadness, no more suffering.... Heaven excludes all and every form of unhappiness. But to get to Heaven, I need to do the best I can to get through all this suffering I'm going through right now with His help, and at the same time - try to not worry so much and try to enjoy. He is in control of everything, and even allows some unpleasant things to happen but only for my future benefit (which happened because of my stubbornness anyways, and He even works with that, too! He wastes nothing!); therefore, everything that happens is my opportunity to grow and become better - so there's no reason to be afraid. I just need to try my best to work out all this sand in my shoes, let go when I've done my best, trust in His plan, and go through it with Him by my side.
It's so beautiful and life-giving for me to hear and repeat what I just wrote.. it's just so hard for me to hold on to when times get so incredibly tough. But I can't give up...not now. I need to stay faithful, trust, and keep to the bigger picture.
Finals... here I go.
It's not so much that it's Finals week that's getting to me. I mean, yeah... Final's pretty much determine your grade for the whole semester, and it's all cumulative... that is pretty hard. But Finals week is especially hard because of all the things happening in addition to finals week.
“It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out; it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.”
-- Robert W. Service
I definitely have a lot of sand in my shoe.
For me, what has been helping me out, and this is an understatement, is looking at the bigger picture - and I really mean the BIG picture:
God loves me, and won't let me go through anything I cannot handle. He's there with me through it all. One day, I will die. Hopefully, when I die I'll get to go to Heaven to be with Jesus forever, where there is no worries, no sadness, no more suffering.... Heaven excludes all and every form of unhappiness. But to get to Heaven, I need to do the best I can to get through all this suffering I'm going through right now with His help, and at the same time - try to not worry so much and try to enjoy. He is in control of everything, and even allows some unpleasant things to happen but only for my future benefit (which happened because of my stubbornness anyways, and He even works with that, too! He wastes nothing!); therefore, everything that happens is my opportunity to grow and become better - so there's no reason to be afraid. I just need to try my best to work out all this sand in my shoes, let go when I've done my best, trust in His plan, and go through it with Him by my side.
It's so beautiful and life-giving for me to hear and repeat what I just wrote.. it's just so hard for me to hold on to when times get so incredibly tough. But I can't give up...not now. I need to stay faithful, trust, and keep to the bigger picture.
Finals... here I go.
April 15, 2012
"Skinny Love"
This is such an amazing song and performance. I think everyone needs to hear and experience it.
Everything in the way he sings his notes in the song is a result of everything that happened to him prior to singing that song. The voice itself is aged with layers of complexity and experience.
For the record, I've also been pronouncing Bon Iver wrong for a very long time prior to this video.
April 8, 2012
Surrexit Dominus vere, alleluia!
Translated: "The Lord is risen indeed!"
:) Happy Easter everyone.
I join my sentiments, hopes, and prayers for you with my parish priest, Fr. Terry (He has a cool website at http://www.frterryfulton.org/ ), when he said to me:
"May the resurrected Lord bring you peace, joy, and happiness".
At the close of Lent, one of my hopes was an end to a suffereing I had been going through. And although only when I am tested in that way can that particular suffering be realized to have ended (and, indeed, I hope it has ended), God wanted me to remember that even though perhaps it may be my time to have finished in that particular suffering and time to go through another, some people are still suffering through Lent and after... some people are still living an inconceivable and unique pain.
The thought, which is in fact a reality for many people, so captivates the interiors of my heart. As I pray to the resurrected Lord, my heartache is soothed, yet, and for good purpose, still longs for their peace, joy, and happiness.
And yes, this day is a holy day! Jesus went through insurmountable suffering victorious, and even He conquered death in all forms!
In the extent of my logicality and reasoning, there only lies distress - but at the end of it all, my faith tells me different. My faith tells me to keep praying through and thanking God for His crosses (sufferings), my faith tells me my suffering won't be in vain, my faith tells me in the end, everything will be okay. (My God, You touch my heart so lovingly, I proclaim these words for Your glory!)
My faith also tells me to love others in the same way Jesus loves me ... and allow Him to work miracles through that love.
Although I'm definitely not as good as loving you all as the good Jesus loves you, may this be my call to answer, reflect and imitate, and heed.
"In the twilight of our life, we shall be judged by love."-St. John of the Cross
Yours,
Aaron
:) Happy Easter everyone.
I join my sentiments, hopes, and prayers for you with my parish priest, Fr. Terry (He has a cool website at http://www.frterryfulton.org/ ), when he said to me:
"May the resurrected Lord bring you peace, joy, and happiness".
At the close of Lent, one of my hopes was an end to a suffereing I had been going through. And although only when I am tested in that way can that particular suffering be realized to have ended (and, indeed, I hope it has ended), God wanted me to remember that even though perhaps it may be my time to have finished in that particular suffering and time to go through another, some people are still suffering through Lent and after... some people are still living an inconceivable and unique pain.
The thought, which is in fact a reality for many people, so captivates the interiors of my heart. As I pray to the resurrected Lord, my heartache is soothed, yet, and for good purpose, still longs for their peace, joy, and happiness.
And yes, this day is a holy day! Jesus went through insurmountable suffering victorious, and even He conquered death in all forms!
In the extent of my logicality and reasoning, there only lies distress - but at the end of it all, my faith tells me different. My faith tells me to keep praying through and thanking God for His crosses (sufferings), my faith tells me my suffering won't be in vain, my faith tells me in the end, everything will be okay. (My God, You touch my heart so lovingly, I proclaim these words for Your glory!)
My faith also tells me to love others in the same way Jesus loves me ... and allow Him to work miracles through that love.
Although I'm definitely not as good as loving you all as the good Jesus loves you, may this be my call to answer, reflect and imitate, and heed.
"In the twilight of our life, we shall be judged by love."-St. John of the Cross
Yours,
Aaron
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