Aw. :(
Today I took my second physics exam; my first exam I mustered a B out of, of which I am not particularly thrilled about however I was happy. Unfortunately, I don't think I did as well the second time around. And now I'm feeling down..down..down....
I studied a good amount of time for this test, and felt confident prior to receiving the packet - the first set of questions were easy, middle set was doable, but the final couple were awful. The worst part is that the final part was worth half the exam in points (seriously). I did the best I could, filled in whatever I could with what reasoning I had. I didn't even have enough time to finish the last half of my last question (I wonder who shares this opinion, but I don't think 1 hour and 20 minute lecture periods are enough time for unit/midterm exams).
It really sucks having to leave a test feeling bad after you've studied hard for it. In fact, all I wanted to do right after the test was attack my physics book and just re-study the whole chapter! Does anyone feel like this after they've felt bad after an exam?! But of course, doing that won't change what happened to the test I took... (maybe for the final it may help).
I have two more exam midterms for my World Literature and Critical Thinking and Advanced Composition class. Hopefully I won't have to blog about those tests in this same context.
Darn it.
Sincerely,
Aaron
March 14, 2011
March 4, 2011
Love and Loneliness
It is unusual for me to write blogs this early, even in my own history of blogging, so seldom of my blogs are published in the morning. So in honor of this event... Good morning :).
I woke up with a wonderful song resonating in my head. Another artist who I have come to simply love and adore is the wonderful Misty Miller who recently debut her self-titled album in the UK about two weeks ago. She is a young sixteen year old song writer with fantastic skill. Her voice ranks among Adele, in particular, and is sublime.
I purchased her album and I'm thoroughly enjoying it! I recommend it! I love pretty much all of the tracks. The one I would like to talk and reflect about is called "Hope". Unfortunately, I cannot link a song to you in this blog for you to listen to, but I can direct you that song here on her Music Myspace which you can get to by clicking here.
The song "Hope" is a soulful and emphatic, yet reverencing and appreciating, and, of course, hopeful ode of a past love and the effects of it. To me, I find it a beautiful message to the audience of the human heart. What is striking most about this song, at this time to me, is laced and woven in the feeling and singing of the words in the second verse:
I loved it last night when you held me so tight
but then you let go and I was alone
Maybe you may have had the experience already, but if not I am without certainty that at one point in your life you may have to leave and let go of a relationship, idealized or not, and move on, and in the process of letting go I believe that the understanding and richness of the presence of love in your life will increase invaluably.
Maybe, even, in the process of letting go you would have to leave the other person alone. So at this point I would like to ask you to put into perspective the other person. This blog isn't dedicated to you. This blog is dedicated to the person who you left by leaving, this person who loved you and you left him or her. Whatever the reason of why you left, my point is that you did leave, and my aim is to consider how the other person may have felt in this certain scenario.
I'll try to put to words the feelings that I've received from Misty Miller's singing of the words in her second verse:
I loved it last night when you held me so tight
but then you let go and I was alone
Alone. My goodness, it's such a huge challenge to equivocate what my heart speaks to me in the hearing of the word. If someone you loved left you, and, in the result, has left you alone - coping is just...doesn't seem doable. The one who you loved was the person...you loved. That one special person who was your stronghold, your understanding, your comfort, your person deigned by God to apparently have not been the one for you, but on to who you have put in place of the one who you felt, to the best of your existence, God placed for you to love.
But Misty Miller, extraordinary in her talent, sings the following lines:
I loved it last night when you held me so tight
but then you let go and I was alone
...with dual emanating emotion - sadness and hopefulness. The sadness on which I've propounded about, and the hopefulness which seems to take into consideration a reverence of the event AND a calmness perpetuated by a solace. When I hear her sing those lines, I don't get awfully sad, even though the words read alone seem so awful. Instead, in hearing her singing of those lines, I feel partially sad, and I feel, in all calmness, okay. It's like she's able to sing the feeling of being okay, while even though the most devastating thing has happened.
The point is that it's hard to feel "okay" when you're left alone. That is what's so revolutionary about what I've come to gain from the song.
Sincerely,
Aaron
I woke up with a wonderful song resonating in my head. Another artist who I have come to simply love and adore is the wonderful Misty Miller who recently debut her self-titled album in the UK about two weeks ago. She is a young sixteen year old song writer with fantastic skill. Her voice ranks among Adele, in particular, and is sublime.
I purchased her album and I'm thoroughly enjoying it! I recommend it! I love pretty much all of the tracks. The one I would like to talk and reflect about is called "Hope". Unfortunately, I cannot link a song to you in this blog for you to listen to, but I can direct you that song here on her Music Myspace which you can get to by clicking here.
The song "Hope" is a soulful and emphatic, yet reverencing and appreciating, and, of course, hopeful ode of a past love and the effects of it. To me, I find it a beautiful message to the audience of the human heart. What is striking most about this song, at this time to me, is laced and woven in the feeling and singing of the words in the second verse:
I loved it last night when you held me so tight
but then you let go and I was alone
Maybe you may have had the experience already, but if not I am without certainty that at one point in your life you may have to leave and let go of a relationship, idealized or not, and move on, and in the process of letting go I believe that the understanding and richness of the presence of love in your life will increase invaluably.
Maybe, even, in the process of letting go you would have to leave the other person alone. So at this point I would like to ask you to put into perspective the other person. This blog isn't dedicated to you. This blog is dedicated to the person who you left by leaving, this person who loved you and you left him or her. Whatever the reason of why you left, my point is that you did leave, and my aim is to consider how the other person may have felt in this certain scenario.
I'll try to put to words the feelings that I've received from Misty Miller's singing of the words in her second verse:
I loved it last night when you held me so tight
but then you let go and I was alone
Alone. My goodness, it's such a huge challenge to equivocate what my heart speaks to me in the hearing of the word. If someone you loved left you, and, in the result, has left you alone - coping is just...doesn't seem doable. The one who you loved was the person...you loved. That one special person who was your stronghold, your understanding, your comfort, your person deigned by God to apparently have not been the one for you, but on to who you have put in place of the one who you felt, to the best of your existence, God placed for you to love.
But Misty Miller, extraordinary in her talent, sings the following lines:
I loved it last night when you held me so tight
but then you let go and I was alone
...with dual emanating emotion - sadness and hopefulness. The sadness on which I've propounded about, and the hopefulness which seems to take into consideration a reverence of the event AND a calmness perpetuated by a solace. When I hear her sing those lines, I don't get awfully sad, even though the words read alone seem so awful. Instead, in hearing her singing of those lines, I feel partially sad, and I feel, in all calmness, okay. It's like she's able to sing the feeling of being okay, while even though the most devastating thing has happened.
The point is that it's hard to feel "okay" when you're left alone. That is what's so revolutionary about what I've come to gain from the song.
Sincerely,
Aaron
March 2, 2011
Higher
Recently, I've been listening to some really talented artists, and I think of all the ones I've listen to right now I'd like to share one in particular.
B.o.B has been captivating me with his music and his range of talents from rapping fresh lines to singing his own hooks. And off his No Genre mixtape (which I highly recommend), there is one song that I can never get tired of - honestly. It's called "Higher"
The chorus goes like this:
I’ll take you higher
Higher than you’ve ever been
See things you never thought,
You thought would never exist
Higher, higher than you’ve ever been
Where we go we won’t fall
We’ll stay there
Cuz there’s a place
With no walls
It’s been ages
Since we’ve gone
Get away
So long
Levitate
Higher than you’ve ever been, higher
I would be hard-pressed to not consider that he may be talking about drugs. However, I don't think it's so clear; if you listen to his other songs, in addition to this song, he has, I think, very complex and profound wordplay, cleverness, and wit. Nevertheless, he could be talking about drugs that give him that "high", but I still think it's more than that.
In my last blog I blogged a little about the moments that made me extremely happy. In fact, just thinking about how happy those moments made me feel makes me hopeful that one day I can be in that state of mind again. And this hook by B.o.B. does just that.
When I sing the hook to myself, I find it incredibly cathartic and therapeutic; essentially, the hook puts into words things I can say to make me happy just thinking about happiness!
"Cause there's a place...No walls...It's been ages...Since we've gone" Metaphorically, I think he could be talking about Heaven in some intricate way. That would infer that he would have been to Heaven before, which couldn't be technically true (Unless he was Catholic...But that's for another blog). But haven't there been times when people would say, "Oh, I'm in heaven!"? He doesn't necessarily have to talk about Heaven.
I think that's what makes the thought so appealing to me because it reminds me about the times when I thought I was in heaven. And it's been a while since I've been in a situation when I could say "this is heaven"; truly, such experiences are far and few in between. "Cause there's a place...No walls...It's been ages...Since we've gone"...
Here's a Youtube where you can listen to it. For the record, the first verse is so envigorating - it really makes me want to really stive harder and succeed in whatever I'm doing. He even mentions a little physics in rhyming about "gravity" and "relativity" which makes me incredibly happy.
So definitely, I hope you can take a look at the first verse and, especially, the chorus into a deeper analysis for yourself...See where the words, beat, and feeling of the song take you. Maybe, one day again you can be there again - you're own earthly interpretation of "heaven".
**I only recommend B.o.B's first verse and all subsequent chorus parts. The other rappers aren't worth to much to talk about in comparsion to B.o.B's presence on the song.
Lyrics:
You may not know my name,
But by the time I leave you’ll
Remember the B to the O to the B
And every single dot that’s in between.
And every time I hop up in the scene,
I’m feeling like I’m better than before.
I’m ready for whatever,
If you feel me let me know,
Cuz I just wanna flow.
I got up in this game trying to prove that I’m better than before,
But I don’t even sweat it anymore.
I get up in the zone, as I coast,
As I take flight, Gravity better hold me tight.
Your relativity don’t mow me right.
On every single kick, every snare, every line
Please don’t compare niggas to me cuz I’m hell on the mic.
I’m down for the gamble like a red pair of dice,
You scared of the fight,
When you lay down and prepare for the night,
I’ll be in the air on the flight.
I don’t even care with the time
High in the days of my mind.
Every single face that’ll say ‘hey Bobby Ray’
I say ‘Hi’. You’re living the craziest life,
In a pair of shades ima bathe in a spot like Rays
Making every nightclub jump like raves,
Braves, braves, Home of the Braves,
Eastside Atlanta that’s where I stay
I’ll take you higher
Higher than you’ve ever been
See things you never thought,
You thought would never exist
Higher, higher than you’ve ever been
Where we go we won’t fall
We’ll stay there
Cuz there’s a place
With no walls
It’s been ages
Since we’ve gone
Get away
So long
Levitate
Higher than you’ve ever been, higher
Always,
Aaron
B.o.B has been captivating me with his music and his range of talents from rapping fresh lines to singing his own hooks. And off his No Genre mixtape (which I highly recommend), there is one song that I can never get tired of - honestly. It's called "Higher"
The chorus goes like this:
I’ll take you higher
Higher than you’ve ever been
See things you never thought,
You thought would never exist
Higher, higher than you’ve ever been
Where we go we won’t fall
We’ll stay there
Cuz there’s a place
With no walls
It’s been ages
Since we’ve gone
Get away
So long
Levitate
Higher than you’ve ever been, higher
I would be hard-pressed to not consider that he may be talking about drugs. However, I don't think it's so clear; if you listen to his other songs, in addition to this song, he has, I think, very complex and profound wordplay, cleverness, and wit. Nevertheless, he could be talking about drugs that give him that "high", but I still think it's more than that.
In my last blog I blogged a little about the moments that made me extremely happy. In fact, just thinking about how happy those moments made me feel makes me hopeful that one day I can be in that state of mind again. And this hook by B.o.B. does just that.
When I sing the hook to myself, I find it incredibly cathartic and therapeutic; essentially, the hook puts into words things I can say to make me happy just thinking about happiness!
"Cause there's a place...No walls...It's been ages...Since we've gone" Metaphorically, I think he could be talking about Heaven in some intricate way. That would infer that he would have been to Heaven before, which couldn't be technically true (Unless he was Catholic...But that's for another blog). But haven't there been times when people would say, "Oh, I'm in heaven!"? He doesn't necessarily have to talk about Heaven.
I think that's what makes the thought so appealing to me because it reminds me about the times when I thought I was in heaven. And it's been a while since I've been in a situation when I could say "this is heaven"; truly, such experiences are far and few in between. "Cause there's a place...No walls...It's been ages...Since we've gone"...
Here's a Youtube where you can listen to it. For the record, the first verse is so envigorating - it really makes me want to really stive harder and succeed in whatever I'm doing. He even mentions a little physics in rhyming about "gravity" and "relativity" which makes me incredibly happy.
So definitely, I hope you can take a look at the first verse and, especially, the chorus into a deeper analysis for yourself...See where the words, beat, and feeling of the song take you. Maybe, one day again you can be there again - you're own earthly interpretation of "heaven".
**I only recommend B.o.B's first verse and all subsequent chorus parts. The other rappers aren't worth to much to talk about in comparsion to B.o.B's presence on the song.
Lyrics:
You may not know my name,
But by the time I leave you’ll
Remember the B to the O to the B
And every single dot that’s in between.
And every time I hop up in the scene,
I’m feeling like I’m better than before.
I’m ready for whatever,
If you feel me let me know,
Cuz I just wanna flow.
I got up in this game trying to prove that I’m better than before,
But I don’t even sweat it anymore.
I get up in the zone, as I coast,
As I take flight, Gravity better hold me tight.
Your relativity don’t mow me right.
On every single kick, every snare, every line
Please don’t compare niggas to me cuz I’m hell on the mic.
I’m down for the gamble like a red pair of dice,
You scared of the fight,
When you lay down and prepare for the night,
I’ll be in the air on the flight.
I don’t even care with the time
High in the days of my mind.
Every single face that’ll say ‘hey Bobby Ray’
I say ‘Hi’. You’re living the craziest life,
In a pair of shades ima bathe in a spot like Rays
Making every nightclub jump like raves,
Braves, braves, Home of the Braves,
Eastside Atlanta that’s where I stay
I’ll take you higher
Higher than you’ve ever been
See things you never thought,
You thought would never exist
Higher, higher than you’ve ever been
Where we go we won’t fall
We’ll stay there
Cuz there’s a place
With no walls
It’s been ages
Since we’ve gone
Get away
So long
Levitate
Higher than you’ve ever been, higher
Always,
Aaron
March 1, 2011
Ideal
Is anything ever ideal?
No. Of course not! I don't think I can recount any experience I've had that was ever ideal. Unfortunately, and sadly, I think I have the talent of finding a flaw in every experience. Sure I remember moments of pure happiness; however, I don't think those situations were in any way ideal.
I always get my blood pressure checked at least once a month. I actually have a consistent monthly account of my BP readings for the past year and half. There were some months where I was considered pre-hypertension, but I usually plummeted back down to a normal reading the month after. What's more interesting is that the same nurse usually takes my BP reading, and she would always ask the question "How are you today? I'm about to take your BP so try and release every stressing thought you have"....
Last month I had the same BP check-up, and she asked me the same question again, as she always has asked me for the past year and a half, and it never occurred to me until now that I always had something going on at the time to excuse whatever BP reading I got. And then it struck me..
"Is anything ever really ideal?" No!
The realization was incredibly simple and powerful. I always had an excuse to a bad (or good) BP reading regardless of the outcome of the test. Granted, the excuse was probably substantial, but the point is that I don't think there was ever a time when I said, "Okay, today's reading will be great! Everything is okay".
In fact, everything is not okay. Unfortunately, the moment I'm writing this blog right now I'm having problems. Rank them however you want in severity - it does not matter. Let's disregard the possibility that "I make things a problem that aren't really a problem" - perhaps maybe I do do so - and consider that my problems are really problems. Is it even realistic to hope that one day I will actually have "no problems"?
The life I've lived has taught me that, sadly, I don't think I'll ever be problem-free, and I'm forced to believe so. I don't believe this makes me a pessimist; it is just an axiom of life. After first-hand realizing that my naive idealist perspective that someday "everything will be okay" and "I'll have no more problems" is invalid, it would seem that I would have no gain from the revelation, but thankfully I have attained a humble bit of solace in the experience that I would like to share.
I think the lesson I need to apply to my life is a bit of Yoda-wordplay:
"Is everything okay? No, but I am okay with everything"
I think that's why, thankfully, life has been good to me with some of the most memorable and happiest experiences one could ever had lived through. That's why I can say I've known happiness. And therein lies the answer to the pursuit of it - being okay with everything.
"In the acceptance of whatever happens, lies perfect joy". - Mother Angelica.
Sincerely,
Aaron
No. Of course not! I don't think I can recount any experience I've had that was ever ideal. Unfortunately, and sadly, I think I have the talent of finding a flaw in every experience. Sure I remember moments of pure happiness; however, I don't think those situations were in any way ideal.
I always get my blood pressure checked at least once a month. I actually have a consistent monthly account of my BP readings for the past year and half. There were some months where I was considered pre-hypertension, but I usually plummeted back down to a normal reading the month after. What's more interesting is that the same nurse usually takes my BP reading, and she would always ask the question "How are you today? I'm about to take your BP so try and release every stressing thought you have"....
Last month I had the same BP check-up, and she asked me the same question again, as she always has asked me for the past year and a half, and it never occurred to me until now that I always had something going on at the time to excuse whatever BP reading I got. And then it struck me..
"Is anything ever really ideal?" No!
The realization was incredibly simple and powerful. I always had an excuse to a bad (or good) BP reading regardless of the outcome of the test. Granted, the excuse was probably substantial, but the point is that I don't think there was ever a time when I said, "Okay, today's reading will be great! Everything is okay".
In fact, everything is not okay. Unfortunately, the moment I'm writing this blog right now I'm having problems. Rank them however you want in severity - it does not matter. Let's disregard the possibility that "I make things a problem that aren't really a problem" - perhaps maybe I do do so - and consider that my problems are really problems. Is it even realistic to hope that one day I will actually have "no problems"?
The life I've lived has taught me that, sadly, I don't think I'll ever be problem-free, and I'm forced to believe so. I don't believe this makes me a pessimist; it is just an axiom of life. After first-hand realizing that my naive idealist perspective that someday "everything will be okay" and "I'll have no more problems" is invalid, it would seem that I would have no gain from the revelation, but thankfully I have attained a humble bit of solace in the experience that I would like to share.
I think the lesson I need to apply to my life is a bit of Yoda-wordplay:
"Is everything okay? No, but I am okay with everything"
I think that's why, thankfully, life has been good to me with some of the most memorable and happiest experiences one could ever had lived through. That's why I can say I've known happiness. And therein lies the answer to the pursuit of it - being okay with everything.
"In the acceptance of whatever happens, lies perfect joy". - Mother Angelica.
Sincerely,
Aaron
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