GRRRRR: Angry

I don't usually get angry at all. A lot of other words could usually describe how I would feel in a particular situation where most people would get angry, instead I would be, for the most part: upset, disappointed, and sad. With that said, there are special times when I do get angry.

It's not pleasant at all.

You can argue that anger could could come from hate; I do not think any of my anger spells came from that orgin. I believe, more than anything, that my anger comes from utter disagreement to a certain behavior or action that has no value or moral reasoning whatsoever to the nth degree - to the point where I would literally question to that particular person "What the HELL are you thinking, are you out of your mind?!". Maybe, then, it would seem fair to say that I hate what other people do that just doesn't make resonable or logical sense. Keep in mind that I have a wide scope of reasonings of others that are not just the beliefs I subscribe with - I only hate hate itself. There is no exception to hate; one speck of it is enough for me to hate it.

Today I had an unforgetable experience of intense angry, fury, moment of rage - just complete madness. The type that boils my blood enough for it undergo a phase change. And it happened because I was angry that one person was so inept to how he portrayed himself as to be received by me (and others) that it infuriated me. I couldn't even stand to stay in the same room as that guy - so I left.

After moments away and a thorough cooling through my nerves I realized that, in clarity, that the experience has taught me to get better in two valuable aspects of my character: I needed to further increase in my patience and understanding.

Sometimes for me it is when my patience is challeneged that I'm able to be more tolerant; apparently I haven't had my patience tested in that magnitude for a while. My understanding, however, inceased ten-fold: now I am newly taught and reminded that there a few select others that do not share in the same morals as me - that there are others who have no idea how to act respectfully to others so they do the only thing they know how to do - egotistically babble and harshly degrade thinking that they are justified and right! Those special few that cannot differentiate between their naivity and perceived experences; those who believe "my good is best and my worst is other's good"; those who believe that they are empirically and foundationaly on righteous ground and others are not! When in reality, those people are just misguided souls and an undeveloped conscience.

My reception to those people are enhanced in the awareness of being in their prescense. I will act accordingly in response, and I hope that my tendency to feel anger has been raised by today.

Now, I'm upset, disappointed, and sad.

Respectfully yours,
Aaron